Ow daddy...in celebration of Shelly G winning the Carib Soca Monarch title (note the sarcasm), the debate about whether she deserves it or not will go on for a while, but that debate misses the much larger issue: Shelly G can't sing!
Sometimes for some people, vocal talent is not the most important thing when it comes to singing. With the right amount of promotion, backers and self-deprecation even the most lacklustre of performers are able to replace good ole-fashioned talent and ability. Just look at Rihanna or Kanye West, two individuals who can barely sing a note but make up for it with the right amount of all the other stuff.
In light of this, here are a few of the most horribly bad singers. Some of them have been around longer than most and you just wish they'd go away and visit Michael Jackson at Never Neverland and Never Never-return.
Temika Marshall: The problem with Temika is that she just can't sing, she suffers from an identity crisis it seems because she just can't seem to figure out who she really is, some days she appears to be mimicking Lady Saw whilst on other days ... well, I just can't expalin it. Blame H&J and the people at Cellink for forcing this nuisance onto the Guyanese people.
Vanilla: She is a prime example of children with names give by their parents that they cannot live up to. Vanilla?? C'mon ppl, does she look vanilla? I doubt she even tastes it. She forces herself on you like a toothache and no amount of dancing can hide the fact that she can't sing ... just keep on dancing Vanilla maybe one day you'll be able to join the girls down at Red Dragon.
Shelly G: Ow Lawd...what do I say about this one? Didn't she just have a kid (for Mr Dynamix?? Who the fuck would have a kid for that frigger? No, not because he's your promoter that means you have to let him make you his child carrier), I just wish she'd take a permanent maternity leave. Her voice is one of the most annoying squeaks I have ever had the displeasure of hearing.
Girlie Persaud: Ahhhhhhhhhh this one. It wasn't a winning combination when this one teamed up with Adrian Dutchin for that Carib beer ad. Squeaky, streaky, indulgent are the words that comes to mind when listening to her. Personally I'd rather have my balls bitten off by a pit bull than listen to this woman sing.
Charmaine Blackman: The Queen, Empress, Premier horrible singer of our time, she's not so great in the fashion department either, but that's another story. This woman just does not realize horrible she sounds, and what's worse is that she actually thinks she sounds good. I have to wonder, does she not have ears? If I could have I would force her to listen to a cd of her own music but I think someone might accuse me of Human Rights Violations. But seriously, if there was a hall of fame for bad singers, trust me she would be the first inductee.
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