Oh Gawd, Charmaine is at it again

Charmaine girl, you've got a lot of spirit. Not to mention you look like one, but that's a whole other kettle of fish. It is with much bewilderment, shock and dismay that I discovered this tonight:

Yes my friends, King of Drums PRODUCED by Charmaine Blackman and her hussie, Bonny Alves. Leave it to fucking Charmaine Blackman to create this piece of shit or should I say Guyanese Moods.

Charmaine writes:
" You see we are not ready yet for commercial distribution of the movie ... We are trying to recoop costs by having a series of public viewings before we launch into DVD production".

Public viewings?? Really? I'll be looking out for this. That way I'll know all the tone-deaf people in this country.

Thankfully, I have not nor do I intend to see this.

Who knows ... maybe she'll move entirely to 'producing' and save us the anguish of having to hear her sing, and I use that word very loosely.

Some thoughts and insights into the T-Pain cancellation...

So without me writing it, I guess most of you would know that the circus is no longer headed to GT, but for those of you who are still a bit in the dark, to make a long story very short, HJTV announced that the show was canceled because of threats to kidnap and kill T-Pain.

Now come on Guyanese people, we are often said to be very hospitable people, is this any way to treat our intending guests? Bad bad people, come on bozos, this is not the way to treat the ringleader of the circus.

Now, kidding aside, as some are already speculating, it has to be sabotage on HJTV, but who, remains a mystery though. I can only imagine the financial losses that this promotion company is going to incur because of this cancellation. Why do we as Guyanese continue to want to make the news for all the wrong reasons? Gone are the days when people are just killed, now persons are being threatened to be killed even before they reach Guyana...oh Lord have mercy on us.

The show is still on though, HJTV has managed to include Beenie Man, Biggie Irie, Peter Ram, Sherwyn Winchester and Maxi Priests as the replacements for T-Pain. Personally speaking, I think this line up is much more appealing to the Guyanese people at this time of year. And to some people, T-Pain not coming would be great (the reason for him not coming isn't though). There was very little hype surrounding the original concert, not much interest was generated, ticket sales might have been low which prompted the promoters to unleash a barrage of promotions to give away tickets. So, at the end of the day what's the old maxim? Oh yes, All's well that ends well.

This piece is just speculation on my part however, and I'll share it with everyone. About several weeks ago, I was told that a secret concert with Beenie Man was being planned for Mash Day at GCC. Of course I dismissed it as nonsense because it was already well known that T-Pain was scheduled to be performing there instead. With this new announcement though from the HJTV, I'm suddenly very very curious about this occurence considering that the artiste that had the 'secretly planned concert' is now the headlining replacement...hmmmmm, I wonder.

Ponder on that good folks, and we'll try to do some digging over here.

T-Pain show is almost here for all those who slightly care

Ladies and gentlemen and none of you flamboyant gentlemen I guess by now you all (if you’re usually informed) know that the circus is headed to town. No people, not the Suarez circus that thrilled us before, I’m talking about the circus with the self-proclaimed ringleader being T-Pain…and what a pain he is (personal opinion).

I’ll say it right now, Mr. Short, dark and obnoxious T-Pain sucks!! He cannot sing or perform…at least not by himself. I’m sure that by now you’d notice that on most of his successful recordings he has another ‘guest’ artiste performing with him. Care to guess why the one’s when he sings alone aren’t very popular?

Anyway what’s done is done; the circus is headed to town. What’s interesting to note however is that it appears as though the local clowns aren’t very interested in this circus because it seems as if the tickets aren’t selling as expected, and who can blame them for that? Personally my money can be better spent on cricket tickets.

How else can you explain all these recent promotions giving away free tickets? Cellink was giving away tickets with cheap phone purchases today and on Friday even cheaper phone purchases will get you tickets. You can argue that they’re giving back to the public but I’ll maintain that if the tickets were selling then they would not be giving them away.

And on a side note, how the hell is Ms. Marshall part of the headlining group? Nonsense I tell you, she can probably pass as the opening act as best (maybe not even that) but headliner…Hell NO!! all the more reason to stay away.

As always, these are my personal Opinion, if you don’t like it…ya know what? Bitch please…

Malo

Ok, Malo’s a good singer I’ll admit.  However, this post’s not about his vocal talent.  It’s to ask a question – What the fuck is that on his lip?  OMFG, I’ve heard of shit-locks (which he already has) but shit-lip?  People please, get this boy some help.  The least we as a country could do is offer some advice to him about getting that weird thing removed.  I swear, if I see that thing one more time I’m going to graze his face on a patch of rocky road.

Guyanese Singers Who Just Cannot Sing...

Ow daddy...in celebration of Shelly G winning the Carib Soca Monarch title (note the sarcasm), the debate about whether she deserves it or not will go on for a while, but that debate misses the much larger issue: Shelly G can't sing!

Sometimes for some people, vocal talent is not the most important thing when it comes to singing. With the right amount of promotion, backers and self-deprecation even the most lacklustre of performers are able to replace good ole-fashioned talent and ability. Just look at Rihanna or Kanye West, two individuals who can barely sing a note but make up for it with the right amount of all the other stuff.

In light of this, here are a few of the most horribly bad singers. Some of them have been around longer than most and you just wish they'd go away and visit Michael Jackson at Never Neverland and Never Never-return.

Temika Marshall: The problem with Temika is that she just can't sing, she suffers from an identity crisis it seems because she just can't seem to figure out who she really is, some days she appears to be mimicking Lady Saw whilst on other days ... well, I just can't expalin it. Blame H&J and the people at Cellink for forcing this nuisance onto the Guyanese people.

Vanilla: She is a prime example of children with names give by their parents that they cannot live up to. Vanilla?? C'mon ppl, does she look vanilla? I doubt she even tastes it. She forces herself on you like a toothache and no amount of dancing can hide the fact that she can't sing ... just keep on dancing Vanilla maybe one day you'll be able to join the girls down at Red Dragon.

Shelly G: Ow Lawd...what do I say about this one? Didn't she just have a kid (for Mr Dynamix?? Who the fuck would have a kid for that frigger? No, not because he's your promoter that means you have to let him make you his child carrier), I just wish she'd take a permanent maternity leave. Her voice is one of the most annoying squeaks I have ever had the displeasure of hearing.

Girlie Persaud: Ahhhhhhhhhh this one. It wasn't a winning combination when this one teamed up with Adrian Dutchin for that Carib beer ad. Squeaky, streaky, indulgent are the words that comes to mind when listening to her. Personally I'd rather have my balls bitten off by a pit bull than listen to this woman sing.

Charmaine Blackman: The Queen, Empress, Premier horrible singer of our time, she's not so great in the fashion department either, but that's another story. This woman just does not realize horrible she sounds, and what's worse is that she actually thinks she sounds good. I have to wonder, does she not have ears? If I could have I would force her to listen to a cd of her own music but I think someone might accuse me of Human Rights Violations. But seriously, if there was a hall of fame for bad singers, trust me she would be the first inductee.

Purification

What was billed as the purification concert seemed more like an umbrella party. The heavy downpour earlier in the day and the intermittent rain during the evening must have obviously deterred some patrons from the National Park where the first major show of 2009 was in session.

It was sad for those who missed it. Those die hard reggae fans that came out were treated to a high quality show by most of the headlining artists.

First up was Guyana’s own first born who dished out some of their biggest and best known numbers many of which had love for each other as their themes. Of course their staple tune “Black Joint” was very well welcomed by those in attendance who showed their appreciation and enthusiasm throughout the performance. First Born must be commended for a superb performance and as always their conscious vibes were very welcomed.

Next up was Queen Ifrica of “Daddy don’t touch me there” fame. The Queen who came on stage looking very much unlike many of the female stars that we’ve seen recently was a revelation to many. Wearing little makeup and no shoes she delivered a great performance. Her many songs were aimed at spreading the message of love, harmony and togetherness however during the latter part of her performance, apparently the Queen had a change of heart and decided it was time to rant and rage against…yea you guessed it, the gay community…apparently we’re supposed to love and include everyone and be merry with everyone except those gay people…come on people, it’s a new freaking year. Queen Ifrica is just another of the many hypocrites we have out there…preach love for everyone but attach exceptions. I’m sure that all I and the rest of the Gay community need at the moment is for this alleged Queen (Queen of what by the way?) to come and tell anyone how to live their live. I certainly am not telling her how to live her fucking life…oh BITCH PLEASE! Ya know what, let me stop about her…it’s just not worth it. Her performance was aight but I couldn’t wait for that bitch to get off the damn stage.

After that wretch it would have been such a pleasure to have anyone else on stage, even the usually annoying Charmaine Blackman, but this time we were subjected to another jackass of a performer. Who the hell is Jah Thunder? The promoters should have left that fucker where he was, he was just plain annoying. Apparently his aim was the out cuss all the other performers, well congratulations he certainly won that contest handily. Then if that wasn’t enough, he wanted the audience to chant and call for fire, apparently the ass isn’t aware of what that particular expression means to Guyanese, thankfully though, most of them just ignored him. I tell you this, the best part of the evening came when his performance ended…Good Ridden.

After those two Angering acts, it was the greatest pleasure to have Natural Black on stage. How the hell did this guy not win a single Accolade award is beyond me. He is undoubtedly the best performer we have at the moment. Anyways, Natural’s performance was superlative. The crowd support for this local star was tremendous as many sang along to all of his songs including “It nice”, “Gideon Boots”, “High Grade” and more. There were even some new ones in there. Natural performance was excellent and his message was clear, clean and utterly positive. I hope that it resonated with everyone that was there.

Culminating the night was the headliner of the show. Capleton was awesome and like Natural Black before him, he was fully of energy. His many hit songs were sung by the adoring crowd who sang along and waved their hands. There were Guyanese and Ethiopian flags in the air as he sang and implored all to live life. And unlike the Queen earlier, he reminded every man has the right to determine his destiny.
“Who do you think you are?” “Equal Rights” (ya hear that Queen Bitch?), and “Jah Jah city” were some of the more memorable songs that he performed. Capleton delivered a performance deserving of the seasoned veteran he is. He was also in preacher’s mode, imploring everyone to stand firm in THEIR belief and not HIS belief as someone earlier called for. In his message he called for the eradication of AIDS, SARS, Bird Flu but sadly he didn’t say Queen Ifrica also.

At the end of his performance at 3am, the show as over and the crowd left, mostly satisfied.